I miss you Maman

I can’t believe its been almost a year since I lost my mom to cancer. What’s worse is when I go to sleep and I have dreams about her. Dreams are magical when you are still in it. Everything feels so real. My mom came to visit me in a dream. We were at the beach, on a balcony, just talking, catching up. It felt so real. She was asking me about my new motorcycle, and how things were going. I asked her how she was doing. In my mind, she was still alive. I even said how glad I was she was still alive and how I had a nightmare that she passed. She just smiled and played with my hair.

When she was alive, she lived with my aunt and uncle. They recently moved, so when I asked her (in my dream) how she liked her new place, in my mind I was talking about Woodbridge, not heaven. She told me she was happy, but she missed us. And I told her that great that she’s happy, and that I wanted to come by and visit her. She looked at me puzzled, and walked away.

I woke up. And my heart broke all over again.

0 thoughts on “I miss you Maman

  1. Omg, cousin…. reading this was so chilling and heartbreaking all at once. As much as this hurt, this dream was absolutely perfect for you. I really cannot imagine a better setting for your mother to visit you and the dialogue was sad and reassuring all at once. I hope it brought you some kind of peace, at least. I felt it.

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